


A Lullaby is Never a Goodbye

by Lizzie Morewolfe (Poiemaether210)



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Angst, Brotp, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I Love You Forever, Not Hamadacest, the rest of the gang is mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 19:36:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3393743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poiemaether210/pseuds/Lizzie%20Morewolfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dad and Mom had always sung them to sleep with a special lullaby, reminding the brothers of their parent's unconditional and undying love for them. With their parents gone, Tadashi takes up the tradition that defines his relationship with his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lullaby is Never a Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

  * For [camitake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/camitake/gifts).



> The "I Love You Forever" AU that nobody asks for because nobody is that sadistic or masochistic, except for me.(based on the book with the same name, which has a tragically beautiful backstory)
> 
> This is very much ubbeta'd and a bit dragging - although I found the scenes important so I couldn't take them out. This story is written for camitake. Happy Birthday, love!

The little Hamada boys were probably the most loved children in the world. In them, their parents poured out every ounce and drop of love, hope and belief they had - and believe me, their parents, great people that they were, had quite a lot of those three to give. So Tadashi and Hiro grew up never doubting this truth about their parents' love for them. But, because we all know how Hamada's never do anything by halves, even when the boys say daily reminders of their parents' love in the little actions they made, they still chose to create an even more lasting reminder of this. They made a song, and it went,

_ I love you forever. _  
_ I like you for always. _  
_ As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be. _

It was a very simple song really; but then simple songs are usually the most heartfelt.

* * *

 

For as long as he could remember, Tadashi knew that Dad and Mom would sing him to sleep. When he was smaller, his mother would pick him up, cradle him to her arms and sit in her special chair, with Dad standing a little behind her, rocking him back and forth, back and forth as they both sung,

_ I love you forever. _  
_ I like you for always. _  
_ As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be. _

And it was with that certain proclamation of his parents unshakeable love for him that he found himself being lulled to dreamland. When he was slightly bigger, his parents would both sit beside him on his big boy bed - Hiro, his perfect but very fussy little brother, was using his old crib now -, one on each side and gently card their hands through his hair as they sung him the same song. Then they would go to the nursery, where Hiro was, and do what they did for him when he was still a baby. 

He never went to bed without hearing this song. Even when Dad and Mom were out for the evening or on a trip somewhere, Aunt Cass would come to his bed with a phone in her hand and he'd listen to his parents sing him to sleep over the telephone. 

Until one night, when there was no time for a lullaby. Until the break-in. 

* * *

Tadashi was playing with Hiro, who, at 3 years old, was absolutely enamoured with his big brother's remote-controlled hovercraft. It wasn't easy for Tadashi to play with the cheeky little boy because he always tried to do it himself. In fact, at this very moment, Tadashi found himself holding the remote control over his head as he tried to resist the puppy eyes his little brother was giving to him, as he chanted, "I do it! I do it! I make hovercraft go up really high and save the world!!!" 

Just as he was about to give in to his little brother, they both suddenly heard a great crash. 

**BAAAAANG!!**

Both boys jumped at the sound, Tadashi dropping the controller in his surprise. Neither of the boys even noticed the hovercraft falling down into the floor as Hiro was too busy trying to hold back the little whimpers threatening to escape and Tadashi was trying really hard to be brave and make Hiro stop crying.

"Come here, Hiro. It's okay," Tadashi cooed as he wrapped his brother up in a hug and started rocking them. "Don't cry. Dad probably just knocked a chair do-" 

He never got to finish the sentence as he heard raised voices outside the living room. His mother suddenly burst into his room, eyes wide with fear as she said, 

"Hi sweethearts. We're going to play hide and seek. Is that alright?" Tadashi would eventually look back at this night and realise that his mother's voice was shaking, even as she talked to them in a cheery voice. 

"In the Washing room? Like before?" Hiro asked with wide eyes. Relief flooded into their mother's face and she nodded. 

"Yes, exactly like before. Tadashi," She turned to face her eldest. "Can you help Hiro hide? Make sure that it's somewhere really good inside the Laundry Room so that it will be tricky to find you guys. Don't crawl out of your hiding spot until I find you alright?" 

"Yes, Mom." Tadashi grabbed Hiro's hand and was about to lead him to the laundry room when his mother suddenly kneeled down hugged them tight. Really tight.

"I love you both, my sweethearts. Don't forget that. Stay hidden, alright? Promise me that." 

Both boys nodded and echoed her sentiments. Hiro even did a pinky swear and solemnly promised to stay hidden, adding on that it would be the best hide and seek game ever. 

It was the last time they ever heard their mother tell them that she loved them . 

 

* * *

Their mother never found them, hidden inside the big cabinet where they put the ironing board, hands pressed tightly over Hiro's ears - Tadashi's on top of Hiro's - as they tried to will away the screams and the terrifying crashes and raised voices that could be heard just outside their door. 

Then suddenly there was silence.They waited for Mom to come get them, for her cheerful voice to call out "Ready or not, here I come!". 

Instead, they stayed huddled, waiting there for what could have been an hour until light suddenly flooded into their vision, and a strange woman in a police uniform was standing in front of them. 

Later, when they were bundled by blankets on the bed in Aunt Cass' guest room, they listen to her tell them that they were going to live with her now. Bad men had hurt their Dad and Mom and know they were in heaven, watching over the two brothers. They numbly listened to her assure them that it was going to all be alright and that they were very very brave tonight. 

_ (They find out later that they're parents had quit work because they refused to experiment on inter-dimensional travel, knowing how live testing could hurt someone at this stage in time. That refusal to work for whoever their boss was resulted in their deaths. Hiro later also realises that that boss was Alistair Krei and suddenly regrets saving his life.)  _

She tucks them into bed, after a while and leaves them, keeping the door slightly open so the light from the hallway could be seen. That's when Hiro starts whimpering again. Tadashi cradles him immediately, making shushing noises but it doesn't work this time as sobs wrack through his tiny frame. Tadashi starts whispering reassurances as the little boy begins to shake more violently but they don't work, how could they when he's whispering them over sobs of his own? 

"I want Dad. I want Mom. I want them!!! I want them!!! I want them!!! They didn't sing the I Love You song. I want them to sing!" Hiro was screaming now, his words 

punctuated by hiccups. Tadashi's heart hurt because, even at 8 years old, he knew that he couldn't do anything to fix this for Hiro. He couldn't be a good big brother. So he just held the little boy and said, "I know. I want them too. But I can't bring them back. I can't. But I'm here. I'm here. I will always be here." 

Then he gets an idea and he begins to sing. 

_ I love you forever.  _

His voice cracks. This was wrong. 

_ I like you for always.  _

His voice didn't sound right. There should have been two voices. A sweet yet husky alto and a clear and smooth tenor. He pushed on. 

_ As long as I'm living  _

Hiro sobs had quieted now. And he was looking at Tadashi with sad, yet drooping eyes. His thumb had found his way into his mouth and he was sucking it slowly as he watched his brother sing their lullaby. 

_ My brother you'll be.  _

Tadashi watched his brother's eyes flutter close and finally felt a tiny sliver of peace creep into his heart. It wasn't alright. Far from it. But he was here. And he would take care of Hiro and remind him of how much he was loved, like their parents did to them. 

 

* * *

It was Hiro's first day in high school. At 10 years old, his voice was still high and reedy and his frame petite, especially since he had always been on the small side. Both of these qualities, combined with the fact that he entered as a sophomore - completely skipping over freshman year - yet still managed to answer all the confusing questions his classmates couldn't resulted in a locker handle shaped bruise on his left shoulder and a butterfly bandage above his right brow. 

It also resulted in one black eye, a split lip and very raw and bruised knuckles on Tadashi's part. Although he was 15, he was only a year above his brother as, Hiro was much more intelligent than he was; although, like Hiro, he had also skipped over freshman year. While he was considered intelligent, his brother was an absolute genius and was in 10th Grade before even hitting puberty. They now had classrooms across each other as the Sophomore and Junior homeroom classes were located across each other. 

This meant that Hiro shouldn't have actually gotten hurt. Because he was just across the hall and should have walked with Hiro to their next classes together. But Tadashi had been waylaid by his teacher, who wanted to talk to him about possibly being a volunteer tutor, only to have the conversation interrupted by a cry of pain that sounded very much like it came from his brother's lips. 

One thing lead to another and now he finds himself sitting on the edge of Hiro's bed, after hearing the sobs that were coming from the blanket burrito beside him. 

"Hey, it's okay. The guys were just not used to it. Must have been a pretty pleasant surprise to find a pipsqueak in their 10th grade biology class." 

"M'not a pipsqueak. Just haven't had a growth spurt yet," the burrito protested. 

"Keep telling yourself that, tiny." Tadashi chuckles as a growl emanates from the blankets and big eyes and bedhead pop up out of it. 

"Just you wait, I'm going to get a sudden growth spurt and you'll get a sore neck from just looking up to talk to me." Tadashi just ruffles his hair in response and Hiro's hand materialises to swat it away. And catches sight of the bruised knuckles once more. He gently grabs Tadashi's hands and runs his thumb over the wounds, wincing as he hears Tadashi hiss. 

"I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to fight my battles for me. Don't wanna be a burden to you." Tadashi snatches his hands back, eyes narrowing. He places his hand under Hiro's chin, raising it so that Hiro's eyes see his, instead of the blanket he is nervously playing with. 

"Listen, Hiro. You are not a burden to me and you will never be. You are my baby brother and I will always always protect you. Understand?" He feels his hand move as Hiro's head bobs. "Good. Now you're stuck with me for life and that means that, even when you're married and you have children, if I see someone hurt you, chances are, I'll hurt them back. I love you too much to not do anything and just watch you get hurt." 

"Sap." Tadashi shoves Hiro on his uninjured shoulder. 

"Punk." He fusses with Hiro's blankets and begins to tuck him in again until he is a presentable burrito once more. "Now, it's been a long day. Why don't we turn in early?" 

"Okay," Hiro mumbles, eyes already closing. "Thanks again, Dashi. I don't think the boys will ever think of crossing me again after you knocked some sense into their really dense heads." 

"Always. Now stop talking so I can start singing." Hiro obediently closes his mouth and leans in closer to Tadashi as Tadashi runs his hands through the boy's hair. He opens his mouth and softly begins to sing. 

_ I love you forever. _  
_ I like you for always. _  
_ As long as I'm living,  my brother you'll be. _

 

When Hiro's breathing changes, Tadashi presses a kiss to his head. 

"Love you forever, baby brother." 

 

* * *

It's the night before he showcases his microbots and Hiro can't sleep. He's too nervous and too excited as well. Tadashi watches with amusement as his little brother flits around the room and raves about what he plans to make the microbots do and how epic his entrance will be and oh man, Professor Callaghan will be so mindblower that he'll decide to kick Tadashi and the gang out of school and focus entirely on Hiro. 

At this last statement, Tadashi huffs out a laugh and picks his brother up, slinging him over his shoulder. He ignores the yelp and the fists hitting his back. He also ignores the demand to be let down and carries his brother to the boy's bed. 

"You may be good; but you're not that good enough that he'll ditch us to focus solely on you. Keep dreaming, kid." Tadashi plops him onto the bed and tucks Hiro in as he talks. Pulling back once he's satisfied that Hiro's properly tucked in. "Now please, for the sake of my sanity, at least try to get some sleep. Don't want your microbots to fail because you suddenly fall asleep halfway through the demonstration. You'll be amazing tomorrow and you'll definitely be impressing the right people." 

"Thanks, Dashi. I hope you're right," Hiro mumbles as he nuzzles his face into his pillow. 

"Of course I'm right." Tadashi's hand has found his way into Hiro's ever-spiky hair, the 13 year old making a noise of contentment at this. As was their tradition every night, despite Tadashi's now long nights, he sang his brother to sleep. 

_ I love you forever. _  
_ I like you for always. _  
_ As long as I'm living, my brother you'll be. _

"Good night, Hiro." 

"Night, Dashi." 

 

* * *

_ Tadashi was gone.  _

One moment he could see his brother running towards the doors and the next moment the world had turned yellow, red and orange. Tadashi had always been too heroic, too protective of the people who mattered to him. But he was just human. He wasn't like Superman, who had invulnerable skin or Iceman, who could cool down the fire enough to get away slightly sooty. And now it was just Hiro in their dark and quiet bedroom. 

_Gone. Gone. Gone._

_Tadashi is gone._

_Nobody was going mess his hair up or save him from the bot fighters._

_Nobody was going to placate Aunt Cass when he messed up again._

_Nobody was gonna help him with his projects._

_Nobody was going to carry him around the room._

_Nobody was going to share the room with him._

_WAS. Tadashi is past tense now._

But Hiro was still present tense. And that meant that for the rest of his life, he wouldn't ever have anyone believe in him the way Tadashi did or love him the way he did. _Oh gosh. Nonononono._ He wouldn't ever have anyone sing him to sleep now. 

How was he going to sleep now?  Even when Tadashi got into work mode and stayed in school or in the garage late, he would call Hiro and sing to him over the phone. Although Hiro was embarrassed to think that Tadashi's friends could possibly overhear him singing, it was still the highlight of his day, the most awaited moment. 

For this first time in his whole life - but not the last - nobody sung the lullaby to him. 

 

* * *

_ Tadashi is here.  _

Baymax's statement ago echoes in his mind on a loop.

_Tadashi is here._

Even though he isn't alive anymore in the physical sense, his essence, his character, his Tadashiness is still here in the form of Baymax, in the special chip that he programmed. The chip which contains the values and beliefs that make Tadashi so very distinct as a person. 

Tadashi also lives in Baymax's memories Tadashi lives in his memories too. And sure, maybe that doesn't mean that he gets Tadashi back the way he was; but it means that, he still has a way to hear Tadashi's voice, to see his smile, to bask in he silent strength and conviction he possessed and to remember his dream. A dream that, now, he and Baymax, and all of their friends can realise. 

_ Tadashi would be so proud if he was here. Imagine, his delinquent little brother and his brilliant friends were now heroes and would now help people the way he wanted to.  _

It doesn't mean that things are back to normal now. They won't ever be normal. But for the first time in a while, Hiro actually finds himself sleeping through the whole night. Even if it is still too silent, too unmusical, for him. 

 

* * *

Hiro is now a hero, puns aside. At thirteen years old, he has managed to save the world and rescue a woman that they didn't even know was alive. Not just that, he continues to do so until today. He's back in school now, too and he'll get to work with Honey Lemon, Wasabi and GoGo and watch Fred watch them. To make things even better, he's finally given himself time to grieve as well. 

But getting closure and letting the grief out don't stop his heart from aching as he moves his things into Tadashi's old lab. He remember his first and only visit here. Of how Tadashi had been so proud of him and of how amazed he was at what his friends had managed to accomplish in this nerd school. Of how he first met Baymax. 

Baymax. His heart ached for him too. Baymax, was, to the very end, Tadashi's masterpiece and he gave his all to protect what mattered most to his maker: Hiro. Hiro missed him fiercely. Baymax had made nights less lonely and had patched over the hole Tadashi had created when he left but with Baymax gone, the hole became more palpable. And it hurt. It hurt a lot. It didn't help when he realised that Baymax was the last part of Tadashi left that was just purely him and nobody else. It felt like losing Tadashi all over again. But he isn't going to dwell on this now. He's going to unpack his things in his new workspace and make both his brother and Baymax proud. 

He opens the box and his heart stutters when he realises that it's Baymax's glove that he's looking at. He reverently lifts it up and makes a move to display it when something green catches his eye. 

_ Tadashi's chip.  _

_ It's TADASHI'S CHIP FOR BAYMAX.  _

_ That sneaky little marshmallow saved it when he saved him. He could make Baymax again. He could keep Tadashi alive.  _

Things are gonna get better again. 

 

* * *

It's Baymax's first night home and everything's good. When he placed the chip back in its slot and Baymax gave his usual greeting, it took all of Hiro's self-control not to start dancing in the lab. He felt like he had made Tadashi proud and that he had come full circle. It felt like everything had slotted into place, that he hadn't just gotten closure but that things were alright again. 

He remembers the delight that diffused over his friends' faces when he brought Baymax out. They spent the whole afternoon in a marshmallow pile, cuddling Baymax and milking his "non-threatening and huggable form" for all it was worth. 

He properly introduced Baymax to his Aunt Cass too, today, and watched with amusement as his aunt flailed at the sight of him. When she found out that he was Tadashi's and learned about what he was programmed to do, tears had sprung at the corner of her eyes and she had warmly commented on how it was such a relief that someone would keep Hiro out of trouble now. Hiro wisely kept his mouth shut about his extracurricular activities then. 

After the introductions and dinner, he drags Baymax back into his bedroom where he starts rambling about his plans of upgrading Baymax's armor and fighting chip, when Baymax interrupts him to ask, 

"What does Tadashi do when he is not in the laboratory? I am very curious to know more about the one who programmed me." 

It makes Hiro pause in shock for a bit before he gets his composure back. It doesn't hurt to talk about Tadashi now, especially not with Baymax. In fact he finds himself excited about the prospect of sharing a different side of Tadashi to his best friend. 

So he talks. And talks. He tells Baymax about how Tadashi protected him and about how many scrapes he had gotten into. (He has to stop Baymax from going into medic mode quite a few times and gets a lollipop out of it). He talks about how absolutely useless Tadashi is in the kitchen, about how they tried to make cake for Aunt Cass once but that Tadashi has put salt instead of sugar and had ruined the cake. And he talks about the lullaby, about how Tadashi continued the tradition their parents had started. 

"Are you referring to this lullaby?" 

Baymax shows a clip. 

_Tadashi is walking around the lab, fixing a few things up and typing down some other modifications and improvements he has planned for Baymax when he starts humming. The humming turns into singing and the words are clear, the tune hauntingly and heartbreakingly familiar._

_I love you forever._  
 _I like you for always._  
 _As long as I'm living, my brother you'll be._

Hero's eyes well up. He didn't know- he can't believe what he is seeing and hearing. He had thought that he would never hear that song again, would never hear it the way Tadashi had sung it. But here he is, singing Hiro's lullaby, THE lullaby.  Wait, Hiro's brows furrow.  Tadashi's still singing and he's changed a few words. A lump begins to form on his throat.

"Baymax, play that second half again," he manages to croak.  


And he hears it. And feels his heart break. 

_ I love you forever. _  
_ I like you for always. _  
_ As long as I'm living, _  
**_ And even when I am long gone _ **  
_ my brother you'll be. _

Hiro cries and cries. He cries until his eyes have dried up and no tears are left. He cries as Baymax holds him and plays the video again and again. He cries as he is tucked into bed and the lights are switched off. 

And then he stops. He quiets. As he always does when his brother sings their lullaby.   
  


* * *

FIN.


End file.
